Say Cheese!
by Nova-chan
Summary: Cosmo plans a best day ever celebration...it doesn't go over well...
1. Chapter 1

Say Cheese!!  
  
  
  
NoV: Hi, FOP fans! My name is NoV. Normally I wouldn't be writing for this section, but the show has possessed me.  
  
Cosmo: (mystically) You are in my power..hooray!! Now go get me some cheese!  
  
NoV: (stares at Cosmo) Um..anyway, I decided to settle back and write a small ficcie. Maybe not too small..  
  
Wanda: Microscopic.  
  
Timmy: Miniature.  
  
Cosmo: Astronomical!  
  
Wanda: That's an antonym.  
  
Cosmo: No, I said astronomical.  
  
Wanda: But astronomical is an antonym.  
  
Cosmo: No it's not! It's an astronomical.  
  
Wanda: (completely confused) Um..oh-kay.  
  
NoV: Well, moving on, the ficcie is a normal plot(a normal NoV plot, that is) that tries to keep everyone IC.  
  
Cosmo: I want the story to be about cheese!  
  
NoV: (flatly) The story is NOT about cheese.  
  
Cosmo: Oh, please, oh, please, prettiest of please?  
  
NoV: No.  
  
Cosmo: Pleases that are so pretty they make you cry?  
  
NoV: (sighs, boredly) No.  
  
Cosmo: Pleases that can make even the lowly ostrich cry?  
  
NoV: Lemme think...no.  
  
Timmy: (getting slightly annoyed)  
  
Cosmo: Please?  
  
NoV: No.  
  
Cosmo: Please?  
  
NoV: No.  
  
Cosmo: No?  
  
NoV: Please...I mean no!  
  
Cosmo: Please?  
  
NoV: No.  
  
Cosmo: Please?  
  
NoV: No.  
  
Timmy: (fed-up) I wish that the story was about cheese!!!!  
  
Cosmo: Hooray! (raises his wand)  
  
  
  
**  
  
  
  
Two goldfish opened their eyes. They smiled at each other.  
  
They both hopped out of their bowl and transformed into Cosmo and Wanda.  
  
Cosmo blew a little horn above the sleeping Timmy's head. "Wake up, Timmy!! Today is The Best Day Ever!!!"  
  
Timmy opened one eye, sleepily. "Why is today the 'Best Day Ever'?" he asked, yawning.  
  
"It just is!" the green-haired fairy exclaimed, throwing confetti into the air.  
  
"I'm glad you planned your 'Best Day Ever' on a Saturday," Wanda said, gazing at the calendar. "That way, Timmy won't have to go to school and I won't have to stay here and be tortured alone-err, he won't have to miss out on all the fun! Heh.."  
  
Cosmo began to laugh, maniacally, or as close as he could come to a maniacal laugh. "FIRST-"  
  
Wanda gulped.  
  
"We sleep all day!" he finished.  
  
Wanda facefaulted. "Is that all?"  
  
"No, there's more!!" Cosmo cried. "But we have to wait until tomorrow!!" He zipped back into goldfish form and into the bowl. Wanda shrugged and followed him. Timmy needed no encouragement and fell right back to sleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
**  
  
$*#%^&#(%The Next Morning...*#TT%&@#$@(#%  
  
"WAKE UP TIMMY!!!!"  
  
At the loud shriek, the boy with the ever-present pink hat shot out of bed, and was faced with Cosmo, bearing a huge grin.  
  
"Guess what today is!!" Cosmo shrieked.  
  
Timmy drooped back into sleepy mode. "Sunday?"  
  
"No!" the fairy said, happily. "Well..actually, yes! But that's besides the point! Guess what ELSE today is!"  
  
Timmy sighed. "I don't know."  
  
"It's the Best Day Ever Part 2!!!!"  
  
"Can we sleep today too?" Wanda asked, hopefully.  
  
"Of course not, silly!" Cosmo laughed. "Today is the most important part of the Best Day Ever!! Because it's Part 2!!"  
  
"Whoop-dee-doo," Timmy said, non-enthusiastically.  
  
"Now, then, first, to get our Best Day Ever Part 2 started," Cosmo said, "you need to wish that the world is made of cheese!"  
  
Timmy decided to get out of bed. "What for?" he wondered, curiously.  
  
"It's all a part of the Best Day Ever Part 2!!!" the fairy cried.  
  
Timmy glanced at Wanda.  
  
"You may as well just go along with it," she said, guessing what he was thinking. "I think I'll be sick if I have to hear 'The Best Day Ever Part 2' again."  
  
"The Best Day Ever Part 2! The Best Day Ever Part 2! The Best Day Ever Part 2! The Best Day Ever Part 2!"  
  
Wanda glared at Cosmo, who had made a recording of the phrase, and was playing it on Timmy's CD player.  
  
Timmy shrugged. "I wish that the world was made of cheese?"  
  
Cosmo shrieked with overflowing joy and lifted his wand into the air. A rumbling was heard, that soon made the entire house shake. Timmy and Wanda strained to get picture frames and glass from falling off the walls. The tremors subsided, and Cosmo zipped off into the front yard..and began eating it.  
  
Timmy gave Wanda a questioning look, at they turned away from the window.  
  
She shook her head, and said, "As long as he's happy."  
  
Moments later, Cosmo yelped, "Ow!!"  
  
He floated back into Timmy's room, a chunk of his head missing. He glomped onto Timmy, crying, "The evil cheese monster of DOOM ate my brain!!!"  
  
Timmy stared into his empty head. "Are you sure there was ever a brain in there?"  
  
"All I know is," Cosmo said, dramatically, "it suddenly went from the Best Day Ever Part 2, to the Worst Day Ever Part 1!!!!!"  
  
  
  
  
  
**  
  
  
  
NoV: End of part 1.  
  
Cosmo: No, it's the beginning of part 1!  
  
NoV: Wha?  
  
Cosmo: It's the beginning of the Worst Day Ever Part 1.  
  
NoV: Oh! No, no, no! That's not what I meant. It's the end of part 1 of this ficcie. There'll be much, much more! I'll have a road trip, Cosmo burns the house down, and the Evil Cheese Monster of DOOM!!  
  
Cosmo: Yay!  
  
NoV: But only if I get 5 reviews!  
  
Cosmo: (changes into a sad, lil orphan kid) Please! PLEEEEEAAAASE!!! Review! Fairies need a home TOO!!!!  
  
Wanda: (also a lil orphan kid) Sniffle. Oh, please! We're cold and have no tanning beds to keep us warm!  
  
Cosmo: I love tanning beds! Especially when they're filled with cheese!!  
  
NoV: So, review, or poor Cosmo and Wanda will be forced to live on the streets!!!! ;_; 


	2. Chapter 2

Say Cheese! (part 2)  
  
NoV: Hai, hai! Thanx to Peggi, there's another chappie. Everyone bow and thank Peggi!!  
  
Minna: (bow and thank Peggi)  
  
Cosmo: I like Peggi!  
  
NoV: Do you really?  
  
Cosmo: What's a Peggi??  
  
NoV: -.-0  
  
Wanda: So, what horrible misfortunes do you have planned for us now, eh?  
  
Timmy: Really, as if the whole world being made of cheese wasn't bad enough...  
  
NoV: Oh, it can get much worse.....^.^  
**  
  
Timmy and his godparents heard a strange rumbling downstairs. Then a loud crash.  
  
Timmy shot a look at Wanda and ran downstairs to see what had happened. When he reached the kitchen, he gasped to see that it was in a state of disarray. Pots and pans had been flung onto the floor; silverware was scattered out on the counter; the refrigerator was wide open, and half of its contents had been strewn around it. Timmy also saw that there was something crouching behind the refrigerator door.  
  
Cautiously, he grabbed a nearby frying pan, expecting the being infiltrating the fridge to be the evil cheese monster from before.  
  
"AHA!!" he exclaimed, as he jumped in front of the refrigerator, his frying pan readied.  
  
"AAAH!" Timmy's dad cried, a shocked expression on his face and a donut in his hand. "I wasn't cheating on my diet! I was just inspecting this donut to make sure it was.....really a donut." He grinned, hoping that Timmy would believe him.  
  
"So.....you're not a cheese monster?" Timmy wondered, a bit sheepish.  
  
"Yes! I am!" his dad roared, over-dramatically. "Run! Fear me! For I am the cheese monster to bring your end!!!"  
  
Timmy shrugged, and went back to the staircase.  
  
"It worked!" Dad celebrated by stuffing the whole donut into his mouth.  
**  
"So," Timmy said, once he was back in his room, "about the whole world made of cheese thing....."  
  
"OOH!! The best day ever part 2!!" Cosmo shrieked, overflowing with joy. "Now, it's time for the car chase scene!!"  
  
"The what?" Wanda asked, raising an eyebrow.  
**  
"AAAH!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! AAH!! AAH! AAH!! AAHH!!!!" Wanda wailed, clinging to the backseat for dear life. "Did you ever consider slowing down???"  
  
"Wanda?" Timmy said, sitting beside her. "We haven't left the driveway yet....the car isn't even turned on."  
  
"Oh, sorry. I get carsick....." she lied. She could tell by the insane look in her partner's eyes that the trip would be less than enjoyable.  
  
Cosmo, nearly bouncing in excitement and anticipation, slowly pushed the key into the ignition. Timmy's parents' car roared into life and hummed gently. Cosmo put it into reverse and said, "Are we there yet??"  
  
"No," Timmy said, flatly.  
  
"Goodie! I still get to drive!!"  
  
"Um....may I ask where exactly are we going?" Wanda inquired, hugging the seat in front of hear, anxiously.  
  
"To the cheese capital of the world!" Cosmo informed her.  
  
"Wisconsin?" Timmy wondered.  
  
"No, China!"  
  
"What?? You mean we're DRIVING to China??" Wanda demanded. "We're going to die!!"  
  
Cosmo adjusted his rearview mirror, winked at it, and abruptly backed into a telephone pole.  
  
"Why did you do that?" Timmy asked, not wanting to believe that he had gotten himself into the situation.  
  
"Why weren't you watching where you were backing up?" Wanda questioned, staring at the pole through the back window.  
  
Suddenly, the air bags popped out and smack Cosmo in the face. "Ow!" he cried.  
  
"We're going to die," Wanda said again.  
  
"Stop saying that," Timmy whispered. "Let's think positive. Cosmo may not be the best driver in the world, but he's never gotten us killed before."  
  
"Hi Mr. Truck! How are you today??"  
  
A loud honking was heard. Timmy and Wanda slowly turned their heads to look ahead of them. They huddled together calmly, as they saw the eighteen-wheel truck coming straight for them.  
**  
He could smell flowers. The flowers made him want to sneeze and watch commercials for allergy medicine. He couldn't see flowers. All he could see was darkness. The flowers were somewhere, though. He could hear something too. Were the flowers talking to him? That was silly. Flowers couldn't talk....right?  
  
"Hi, Timmy!"  
  
Now he was sure that the flowers, wherever they might be, were talking to him. Telling him that he needed to wake up soon. Alarm clock flowers.....who needs 'em?  
  
"Hi, Timmy!"  
  
He couldn't ignore it. His eyes slowly opened to stare into a pair of green ones.  
  
"Hi, Timmy!" Cosmo said for the third time, shoving an armful of flowers into Timmy's face. "How are you feeling??"  
  
It took Timmy's brain a minute or two to figure out what was going on. He wasn't in his bedroom, but it was a room with a bed in it. The walls were white, as were the bed sheets, the bed, and the clothes that he was wearing. There was a little machine next to his bed that was making beeping sounds every now and then. There was a long, skinny silver rod beside the bed that had a bag of mushy liquid in it that had a tube going into his arm.  
  
Timmy gasped upon realization. "I know exactly where I am!!"  
  
"Really?" Cosmo wondered. "Where?"  
  
"At the zoo," Timmy said, matter-of-factly. "But where are all the animals?"  
  
"You must've hit your head harder than we thought," a new voice said.  
  
Timmy strained his neck to turn around and look at Wanda, who was floating behind him. She had a sling tied around her arm, and an eye patch over her eye.  
  
"Who are you?" Timmy wondered, a dazed expression on his face.  
**  
NoV: End of part 2!  
  
Timmy: I have amnesia now??  
  
NoV: Hai!  
  
Cosmo: I like to drive!  
  
Wanda: (slaps herself in the head)  
  
NoV: I'll continue with only six new reviews, minna-san! OH, and if you're interested, I drew a fan-picture of FOP, and I'll send it to you if you'd like! 


	3. Chapter 3!

Say Cheese Part 3!!  
  
NoV: Yare, yare!! Been a while, eh??  
  
Cosmo: Yare!!!!!!!! Coffee!!! I looooovee COOOFFFFEE!!!!  
  
NoV: You got into Zel's stash, didn't you?  
  
Cosmo: Mocha, mocha java, java cream, cream java, moose mix, mix moose, and mozzarella!!! Yay!!  
  
Wanda: (sadly shakes her head) Coffee is a terrible thing to be addicted to....(hefts a mug and quickly drinks it, trying not to let anyone see her)  
  
Timmy: Why do I have amnesia???  
  
NoV: ....on with the fic!! Yay!  
  
**  
  
"Look at the people in the lobby!!" Cosmo exclaimed, watching people walking around on the lobby channel. "Hey! That guy has a donut!! I want donuts!!!!"  
  
"Cosmo, this is serious!" Wanda exclaimed, pulling him out of Timmy's earshot. "Timmy can't remember anything at all!"  
  
"And you wonder why we're such good friends?" her husband asked. "Wait....who's Timmy? And who're you??"  
  
Wanda rolled her eyes. "I think you both need to go see a shrink."  
  
"Hey!! I've been watching my weight lately! You don't have to keep bringing it up like this!!"  
  
"Ugh....."  
  
**  
  
Wanda and Cosmo had poofed Timmy back to his bedroom.  
  
"Maybe if he's in a familiar place, he'll start remembering who he is," Wanda suggested, watching as Timmy smiled at the ceiling.  
  
"Ooh!!" Cosmo exclaimed. "I know a familiar place!!" He raised his wand and Timmy vanished.  
  
"Where did you poof him?" Wanda demanded.  
  
"Uhhh....."  
  
**  
  
Timmy obliviously walked around the set of the Jurassic Park movie. He walked under the belly of a giant mechanical dinosaur as it reached down with its massive jaws to bite the head off of an actor's stunt double.  
  
Wanda and Cosmo popped in directly above the huge mechanical tyrannosaurus.  
  
Wanda gasped when she saw that the huge dinosaur was about to step on Timmy, who was completely oblivious to all that was around him.  
  
Cosmo nodded. "I know, he's my favorite actor ever!!!" He floated upward, ecstatically. "I'm gonna get his autograph!!!" He pulled a pencil and notepad from nowhere and flew toward the dinosaur. "Can I have your autograph, Mr. T-Rex??" Cosmo suddenly lost his balance for no apparent reason, and the pencil went flying straight into the nose of the huge dinosaur. It abruptly stopped, and smoke filtered out of its nose. A slow whirring sound could be heard as the mechanical T-Rex broke down, and tumbled toward the ground.  
  
Wanda covered her eyes, fearfully, as the huge beast fell in the direction of Timmy, still staring at the sky.  
  
The dinosaur landed with a thud on top of the director and a few actors, having completely missed Cosmo and Wanda's godson.  
  
"Hi Timmy!!!" Cosmo cried, floating down to the ground. Wanda poofed beside him with an annoyed look on her face.  
  
"What about this place would make Timmy remember who he is?" the pink- haired fairy asked, crossing her arms.  
  
"Well....." Before Cosmo could answer, the mechanical T-Rex coughed up the pencil. It flew through the air and bonked Timmy on the head.  
  
The boy shook his head, as if to clear it. "Hey guys," he said, gaining his godparents' attention. "What're we doing here?"  
  
Cosmo could only grin at his wife, victoriously.  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Wanda muttered, raising her wand to poof them all back to Timmy's bedroom.  
  
Timmy walked over to his window, precariously. "Is the world still made of cheese?" he asked, slightly annoyed.  
  
"Yes," Wanda answered him flatly.  
  
Cosmo suddenly said, "Gasp! The best day ever part 2!!!!!! Now, it's time for the cookin' part!!! I'm the best cook ever!!" he declared, whipping on a "Kiss the Cookie" apron. "I'm gonna have chicken tonight, baby!!!"  
  
Wanda and Timmy looked at each other frightfully. "This is not good," Timmy said, worriedly.  
  
**  
  
Wanda: No, it isn't.  
  
Cosmo: I love to cook! Yay!!  
  
Timmy: Of course.  
  
NoV: Well, there you have it! Part 3! Tell me what you want to happen in part 4! Sayonara!! 


	4. Chapter 4! The Last Chapter!

NoV: &_& Finally got around to writing this!!!  
  
Cosmo: (reads) This chappie is dedicated to JediWanda! .....I love Wanda! Let's dedicate her!  
  
Wanda: Not me, you silly. Do I look like a Jedi to you?  
  
Cosmo: (puzzled) I know! (waves his wand) Now, you do!  
  
Wanda: (dressed like a Jedi with a light saber instead of a wand) -.-0  
  
**  
  
"We should probably go down there," Wanda said, peering down the staircase. "Cosmo + kitchen=chaos."  
  
"Correct," Timmy agreed. "I mean, right. He's probably going to kill us all by burning the house down or something......"  
  
**  
  
Wanda throttled Cosmo, shouting, "YOU IDIOT!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??"  
  
"I just wanted to make the Best Day Ever Part 2 special surprise cake!!" he explained. "I was gonna jump out of it and everything!!"  
  
"But Timmy's house is burning to the ground!!" she exclaimed.  
  
Cosmo burst into tears. "No one will ever trust me ever again!!!" he wailed.  
  
Wanda let him go and held her head, defeated. Timmy grabbed Cosmo and shook him as well.  
  
"HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN???" he cried.  
  
Cosmo's eyes spun around when Timmy stopped shaking him. "Well......" he began. "I went into the kitchen and I poofed myself a pan......and then the kitchen caught on fire!"  
  
Timmy raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"  
  
"You believe me now, don't you?" the fairy wondered, meekly.  
  
"No," Timmy replied, flatly.  
  
Cosmo's eyes welled up with tears.  
  
"Why, oh why, do you always do the lower lip thing??" Timmy asked, covering his eyes with his hand, dramatically. "Oh-kay, just for the sake of argument, we'll say I believe you," he decided. "What do you think started the fire?"  
  
Cosmo appeared to be thinking. "......it was the evil cheese monster of doom!!!!" he exclaimed.  
  
"And why am I supposed to believe THAT lame excuse?" the boy wondered.  
  
"Hmm.....maybe you'll believe it in Spanish!! iEra el monstruo malo de queso del destino!"  
  
Before anything else could be said, sirens were heard in the distance. They got closer until a sparkly red fire truck drove into Timmy's driveway. Cosmo and Wanda poofed into butterflies.  
  
A tall, burly fireman carried a fire hose over to the flaming house. He turned the hose on and squirted a few drops onto the fire. He turned the hose off again. "Our work is done here, men!!" he shouted, climbing back onto the fire truck and driving away.  
  
"That was helpful," Timmy said, sarcastically. Cosmo and Wanda poofed back to themselves. "I wish that the house was back to normal!"  
  
The fairies raised their wands and the fire vanished. Timmy's house was seemingly untouched.  
  
Timmy thought for a minute. "In fact, I wish that the whole world was back to normal! As in not made of cheese!!"  
  
"Awwww......" Cosmo murmured, remorsefully. He raised his wand anyway, changing everything back to dirt and grass. "I'm gonna miss you, cheese!!" He hugged the ground. "¡Yo lo perderé, el queso!"  
  
"Come on, Cosmo," Wanda said, sighing. "I'll make some nachos."  
  
"Ole!!"  
  
**  
  
NoV: ^_^  
  
Cosmo: ^_^  
  
Wanda: ^_^  
  
Timmy: ^_^  
  
NoV: ^_^  
  
Cosmo: ^_^  
  
Wanda: ^_^  
  
Timmy: Enough already!!  
  
NoV: Welp, this fic is officially retired, as I must continue with Baby Makes Four! Make sure you read it. ^.^  
  
Cosmo: Or I'll be a monkey's uncle! (poof into a monkey)  
  
Wanda: Bye! 


End file.
